Bedbugs! That's what I was lying there thinking about. Let me back up a little. My husband came home one evening and told me he had a three day, work-related training coming up, that he was required to attend in Buford, Georgia, near Atlanta. He said if he drove, instead of flying, I could go with him. Since our anniversary was in the same month as the trip, we could drive a few extra miles and include a couple of nights at the beach to celebrate. It had been twelve years since my toes had curled on a white sand beach. I was all in!
My husband's itinerary informed us that on his last day of class, Friday, he would get out early --- around 2:30. We calculated that driving from Buford to Gulf Shores, would take about five and a half hours. Allowing for gas stops and dinner, we could reach our condo a little before bedtime, have a day at the beach to savor on Saturday, and head home EARLY Sunday morning.
We made preparations, and the week of our trip finally arrived. We enjoyed our time in Georgia. Convenient for us, the Mall of Georgia was located only one minute and forty-two seconds --- according to our GPS --- from our hotel. One evening after dinner, we went to the IMAX theater located in the mall and watched Ben Hur in 3D. The really cool part was that when we found our seats --- pretty much dead center --- we were surrounded by a sea of empty chairs. We were the only two people in the whole theater. My husband tried to convince me that he had reserved it just for us.
On Friday I had to be out of our room at noon. While waiting for Kevin to get out of class, I sat in the spacious hotel lobby and worked on a crossword puzzle and skimmed through a magazine. I decided to make some phone calls and catch up with a few family members back home. By the time I had finished chatting to two or three people, I had been warned to be wary of a myriad of things. I had been warned of a few of these before I left, so my list now included hurricanes, flooding, jellyfish, sharks, strangers and bedbugs. One of these people even told me they had started to tell me something to be careful about, but they decided against it, because they were afraid it would worry me too much --- as if that bit of information would put my heart at rest.
It wasn't too hard for me to dismiss most of the things I had been cautioned about. Funny thing is, the one that kept crawling back into my thoughts wasn't one of the bigger dangers, it was the tiniest one --- bedbugs. I had been informed that you could pick them up without knowing it, that when they first began biting, some people didn't even feel it. They were widespread in hotels and were notorious for hitching a ride back home with you in your luggage. We had just spent three nights in a hotel. Was my luggage already infested? I began to feel itchy.
Kevin picked me up right on schedule, and a few hours later we arrived at our destination. Due to heavy traffic on the interstate, that we hadn't allowed for in our calculations, we got to our condo after dark. We were on the seventh floor. We opened the patio doors and were greeted by the most wonderful sight and sound. We could see just well enough to make out the white caps of the waves as they rolled in, and hear them crashing against the shore.I felt the anticipation of a little child on Christmas Eve. I could hardly wait for the next morning, to unwrap the beach experience.
Kevin had to make another trip down to the truck to finish retrieving our things. All at once I forgot about the thrill of my surroundings. It was the perfect opportunity for me to make an inspection, without having to tell him of my fears. I quickly lifted the covers off the edge of the bed and looked down the seams of the mattress. I didn't see anything. I felt some relief, but my eyes aren't what they used to be. I was haunted by the thought that I could have missed them.
When Kevin returned, we got ready for bed quickly. Our plan was to get up to see the sunrise. I lay down on the comfortable bed. Here I was! This was what I had been looking forward to for months. After just a few moments, Kevin's deep, rhythmic breathing told me that he was dreaming of sea, sand and sun. I, on the other hand couldn't seem to get my mind off of a battalion of biting bedbugs. Were they inching nearer with each passing second? Were they already crawling on me? I knew I was being ridiculous, but I just couldn't help it, or could I? I knew the answer to that question. Yes, I could. The Bible speaks of us taking our thoughts captive. I had a choice. Hadn't I just read Psalm 37 the day before? Three times in this one chapter it states: "Do not fret..." I really prefer the King James rendering on this particular verse: "Fret not thyself..." This wording makes it apparent that worry is self-inflicted torture. If we say, "Do not fret" or "Do not worry" it sounds like there is cause for worry, but from a sheer act of will, we are choosing to refrain from it. When we say, "Fret not yourself," it casts worry in its rightful light. It is revealed as energy expended to trouble ourselves that doesn't do anything useful to remedy the situation.
As I lay on that bed, I had a discussion with myself. I reasoned that if I had chosen a condo that had bedbugs, at this point, there was absolutely NOTHING I could do about it (except of course pray, which I had already done). I COULD choose to think about how delightful it was to be where I was. Just a few yards away the waves were flirting with me. They were going away, shouting and beckoning, "Hurry! Come on!" Then pushing back saying, "Not yet. You have to wait until morning." With these thoughts I joined my husband in dreamland.
The next day our dreams came true. We made a multitude of happy memories. The day after that, we arrived back home without encountering any of the monsters that lurked outside our familiar surroundings.
I am thankful for what the Lord has been trying to teach me regarding worry. Worry has, by far, been the monster I have encountered most frequently in my life. I could have been devoured by it that first night at the beach. If I had given in to it, I would have awoken red-eyed and tired the next morning. It would have ruined a beautiful day.
I have heard that the Bible admonishes us not to fear (fret, worry) 365 separate times --- one for each day of the year, but how do we alleviate worry? Well, if it really is self-inflicted, we can choose not to afflict ourselves. Psalm 37 says: "Fret not thyself..." Psalm 103 gives us a healthy alternative. "Praise the Lord, I TELL MYSELF, and never forget the good things He does for me. He forgives all my sins and heals all my diseases. He ransoms me from death and surrounds me with love and tender mercies. He fills my life with good things. The Psalmist goes on to list many more of the blessings of the Lord and ends his discourse this way: "As for me ---- I,...will praise the Lord. Paul penned these words to the Ephesians, regarding self-talk: "...be filled with the Spirit; SPEAKING TO YOURSELVES in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord; giving thanks always for all things unto God ..." There you have it. We choose what we tell ourselves. It can be negative and discouraging, or positive and encouraging. We have the choice to worry, or to worship!
My husband's itinerary informed us that on his last day of class, Friday, he would get out early --- around 2:30. We calculated that driving from Buford to Gulf Shores, would take about five and a half hours. Allowing for gas stops and dinner, we could reach our condo a little before bedtime, have a day at the beach to savor on Saturday, and head home EARLY Sunday morning.
We made preparations, and the week of our trip finally arrived. We enjoyed our time in Georgia. Convenient for us, the Mall of Georgia was located only one minute and forty-two seconds --- according to our GPS --- from our hotel. One evening after dinner, we went to the IMAX theater located in the mall and watched Ben Hur in 3D. The really cool part was that when we found our seats --- pretty much dead center --- we were surrounded by a sea of empty chairs. We were the only two people in the whole theater. My husband tried to convince me that he had reserved it just for us.
On Friday I had to be out of our room at noon. While waiting for Kevin to get out of class, I sat in the spacious hotel lobby and worked on a crossword puzzle and skimmed through a magazine. I decided to make some phone calls and catch up with a few family members back home. By the time I had finished chatting to two or three people, I had been warned to be wary of a myriad of things. I had been warned of a few of these before I left, so my list now included hurricanes, flooding, jellyfish, sharks, strangers and bedbugs. One of these people even told me they had started to tell me something to be careful about, but they decided against it, because they were afraid it would worry me too much --- as if that bit of information would put my heart at rest.
It wasn't too hard for me to dismiss most of the things I had been cautioned about. Funny thing is, the one that kept crawling back into my thoughts wasn't one of the bigger dangers, it was the tiniest one --- bedbugs. I had been informed that you could pick them up without knowing it, that when they first began biting, some people didn't even feel it. They were widespread in hotels and were notorious for hitching a ride back home with you in your luggage. We had just spent three nights in a hotel. Was my luggage already infested? I began to feel itchy.
Kevin picked me up right on schedule, and a few hours later we arrived at our destination. Due to heavy traffic on the interstate, that we hadn't allowed for in our calculations, we got to our condo after dark. We were on the seventh floor. We opened the patio doors and were greeted by the most wonderful sight and sound. We could see just well enough to make out the white caps of the waves as they rolled in, and hear them crashing against the shore.I felt the anticipation of a little child on Christmas Eve. I could hardly wait for the next morning, to unwrap the beach experience.
Kevin had to make another trip down to the truck to finish retrieving our things. All at once I forgot about the thrill of my surroundings. It was the perfect opportunity for me to make an inspection, without having to tell him of my fears. I quickly lifted the covers off the edge of the bed and looked down the seams of the mattress. I didn't see anything. I felt some relief, but my eyes aren't what they used to be. I was haunted by the thought that I could have missed them.
When Kevin returned, we got ready for bed quickly. Our plan was to get up to see the sunrise. I lay down on the comfortable bed. Here I was! This was what I had been looking forward to for months. After just a few moments, Kevin's deep, rhythmic breathing told me that he was dreaming of sea, sand and sun. I, on the other hand couldn't seem to get my mind off of a battalion of biting bedbugs. Were they inching nearer with each passing second? Were they already crawling on me? I knew I was being ridiculous, but I just couldn't help it, or could I? I knew the answer to that question. Yes, I could. The Bible speaks of us taking our thoughts captive. I had a choice. Hadn't I just read Psalm 37 the day before? Three times in this one chapter it states: "Do not fret..." I really prefer the King James rendering on this particular verse: "Fret not thyself..." This wording makes it apparent that worry is self-inflicted torture. If we say, "Do not fret" or "Do not worry" it sounds like there is cause for worry, but from a sheer act of will, we are choosing to refrain from it. When we say, "Fret not yourself," it casts worry in its rightful light. It is revealed as energy expended to trouble ourselves that doesn't do anything useful to remedy the situation.
As I lay on that bed, I had a discussion with myself. I reasoned that if I had chosen a condo that had bedbugs, at this point, there was absolutely NOTHING I could do about it (except of course pray, which I had already done). I COULD choose to think about how delightful it was to be where I was. Just a few yards away the waves were flirting with me. They were going away, shouting and beckoning, "Hurry! Come on!" Then pushing back saying, "Not yet. You have to wait until morning." With these thoughts I joined my husband in dreamland.
The next day our dreams came true. We made a multitude of happy memories. The day after that, we arrived back home without encountering any of the monsters that lurked outside our familiar surroundings.
I am thankful for what the Lord has been trying to teach me regarding worry. Worry has, by far, been the monster I have encountered most frequently in my life. I could have been devoured by it that first night at the beach. If I had given in to it, I would have awoken red-eyed and tired the next morning. It would have ruined a beautiful day.
I have heard that the Bible admonishes us not to fear (fret, worry) 365 separate times --- one for each day of the year, but how do we alleviate worry? Well, if it really is self-inflicted, we can choose not to afflict ourselves. Psalm 37 says: "Fret not thyself..." Psalm 103 gives us a healthy alternative. "Praise the Lord, I TELL MYSELF, and never forget the good things He does for me. He forgives all my sins and heals all my diseases. He ransoms me from death and surrounds me with love and tender mercies. He fills my life with good things. The Psalmist goes on to list many more of the blessings of the Lord and ends his discourse this way: "As for me ---- I,...will praise the Lord. Paul penned these words to the Ephesians, regarding self-talk: "...be filled with the Spirit; SPEAKING TO YOURSELVES in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord; giving thanks always for all things unto God ..." There you have it. We choose what we tell ourselves. It can be negative and discouraging, or positive and encouraging. We have the choice to worry, or to worship!
